Windex

When you gaze out your window what do you see?  Today I see 2 feet of snow, the blustery wind blowing the dead tree limbs; reminds me of Winnie the Pooh.  I see cars creeping on my road, snowflakes blurring by as if in a hurry to go somewhere.  Everything is clean and pure…or so it seems.  There is a curve in the road that I can see, but I don’t see beyond that.  I don’t know what’s on the other side.   In my mind I see the garden with all of its left overs from fall that Jacob left there.  I believe the tiller is there still.  Also in my mind I see the tree that fell during the Derecho that Clarence cut up but is still laying there.  But with the snow all is beautiful, untouched almost magical.  All of those little snowflakes in a hurry flying past my window found a home. 

Now the sun is shining, same snow, different window.  There is a hawk flying, soaring, and gliding with the wind.  He looks as if he is floating not caring where he lands, just content to be.  Like someone else is guiding him but he has complete trust with the plan.  Now out my window the horizon is dotted with people; People moving swiftly in the snow as if to music in their mind.  Some moving swiftly in the snow, as if to music in their mind.  Some moving ever so slowly that I have to wonder is there any music at all.  Life’s a dance, there is always music and there will always be dancers.  As I danced down the tubing slope my mind and world began to whirl, and that was before I started to spin.  By the time I made it to the bottom, nausea had gripped me and I was very unsteady on my feet, head still swirling much like the aftermath of my car wreck.  So I moved inside and decided to resume my gazing from windows.  I watched as folks came down slopes on skis actually landing on their feet while others wiped out halfway down but they all eventually rested at the same place…the bottom.  I enjoyed chatting with the kids as they came in frozen to tell of their adventures all pretty much the same; you go up, you go down but yet uniquely different.  Each time they learned something new, Pull the scarf this way or hold the tube that way, dig the boot in at just the right time, made slipping down the slippery slope much easier and yes even more comfortable.  I sat by the fire, making new friends, some this was their first ever outing, and others a yearly treat, like ours.  Many church groups, lots of kids, lots of adults, lots of winter gear, boots, gloves, scarves, and masks.

As I watched from afar I tried to pick out members of our group but it was impossible.  Everyone looked essentially the same.  So I just watched them all.  I thought of my own life as I watched others.  Sometimes I feel like I am looking out my own window; the window of my soul.  Sometimes I feel disconnected even though it is happening to me.  I often just feel like an observer or bystander.  My head hurts, I’m confused or I should say I know what I want to say but I can’t get it out.  I can almost see the words but can’t get them out of my mouth.  So I act it out.  I eventually get the message across but Geez…As I look out the window of my soul I see things that look good and clean and pure just like as the snow covers everything, but deep down I know reality.  Things are messy and even dirty if you look close enough.  And just like the tiller that shouldn’t be there in my garden there is stuff in my heart that needs put away.  There is a place for it, but it isn’t there…in my heart where it gets in the way of my relationship with Christ.  Just like the snow, Jesus’ blood has covered all that stuff; made it pure and clean.  And as the hawk glides in the sky, floats along, that’s what I want to do.  I just want to spread my wings and glide this way and that way knowing the Heavenly Father is guiding me.  He has a plan for me just as I have quoted so many times in Jeremiah 29:11

Psalm 9:14 He will cover you with His feathers and under His wings you will find refuge.

As I watched that bird glide with his wings stretched wide I could imagine finding rest in the arms of the Father.  No matter the circumstance, no matter what, I know He is going to open those arms and welcome me to come into His embrace.  He knows my path, my plan.

Psalm 62:2  He alone is my Rock and my salvation my fortress; I shall never be shaken.

My window sometimes becomes difficult to see out of.  It gets a film over it or becomes streaked; sometimes things are clear as I look and sometimes blurry.  But as I think of Jesus and all that he has done for me it all becomes clear.  Jesus is like the Windex for the window to my soul.  He cleans it up, removes the film.  He sees my heart all the way through the muck.  He sees through the cracks in the window panes.  He sees through the streaks where I have tried to fix my life myself, he looks past all that and sees himself because that’s who lives there.  This is what I have to do, we all have to do.  After we invite him in we have to let Him be the Windex, we have to stop trying to be the window washer on our own because we can’t do it.  He loves us, God loves us.  We are his little children.  We can get our finger prints, smudges, all over it but just let him clean it.  After all God is in control.  He knows the plan.  We just need to be the bird, float and glide, and like all birds do, we may crash into an occasional window, leave behind a little residue but that’s OK because God is in the clean up business.  He makes it all shiny! 

As we left that night I glanced out the window of the truck one last time.  I saw the empty slopes with nothing but tracks where we all had been.  Places we fell, but got back up. Places we wiped out but recovered.  There was fresh snow falling to cover it all, the lights along the top of the ridge illuminating it all, very sparkly and clean.  So like the way Jesus’ blood has covered all the tracks of our life, our sin.  We get back up and when we wipe out we recover. I hope in the tracks of our own life it will be like it was on that mountain.  If I fall I hope someone will stretch out a hand to help me up.  And if I am the one passing by I hope God gives me the grace to stop and help you up.  Jesus is the light that illuminates our life, the hills, and the valleys.  He is the light at every corner and every curve.  And unlike when I look out my window and see that curve in the road not knowing what lies ahead, I know what lies ahead of my life with Christ Jesus.   He is there Waiting on me, Ready to hold my hand, and wipe my tears.  Ready to just love me, no matter what.

The love of God so rich and pure, how measureless and strong.  It shall forever more endure, the saints and angels song.

1 John 4:16  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them.