Once upon a Valentine’s Day not so long ago there was a kid
and he fell in love. That was 1982.
That Valentine’s Day there was a flutter just barely there in my
heart. One week later was his birthday;
I gave him a birthday card. The flutter
began to grow. There was a funeral of a
dear friend and neighbor, Lovie Puckett.
I remember like it was yesterday.
The snow was pouring down and there at the cemetery he gave me his class
ring. That night in the snow storm we
risked getting out there on the roads to go to our first movie, On Golden
Pond. I was 16. I wasn’t allowed to date til I was 16 so this
was all new territory for me. I remember
after the movie by the car that first kiss.
I think that’s when the flutter turned to flurry. My dad was notorious for discipline and
guns. I recall the first time he came to
my house, after church on a Wednesday night.
As we left the church I asked if he had heard of my dad? I swear all the color drained from his
face. But they became fast friends. We spent many date nights sitting on the
porch in the glider. Not very often
alone. Lots of little kids there. Janet was 2 and always in between us. I remember the day he asked Daddy for my hand
in marriage. We were sitting around the
table in the kitchen and daddy didn’t even look up from his plate, he said
simply, “Well I guess that’s one less mouth I’ll have to feed!” We took that as a yes. He worked during the summer putting up hay
and with that hard earned money bought me a diamond engagement ring, Greenbrier
Jewelers. We rarely talked on the
phone. He hated the phone, never outgrew
that. But we did write letters. Every day.
My bus driver, Sue Posten would take my letter to Smoot and he would
walk up and get it and leave one for me on his way to night classes at the
Community College. Our engagement was
short, but then it seemed like an eternity.
When you are 17 and ready to start your life a year feels like
forever. So I graduated in June, 1984. Later that month June 30, 1984 we said I
do. No idea what we were going to do in
life or how we were going to do it but what we did know was we were going to do
it together, side by side. With God in the middle! We spent one night in an old farm house in
Crag Holler and then we moved in to our little house there at the corner of the
interstate. Only at that time there was
no 64. All a work in progress. Much like us. He got a job as night watchman for that
project, and then got sick. I can
remember the night he had chest pain he could barely breathe. He tried to walk up the steps of our little
house all the while declaring he didn’t need an ambulance. So I threw his butt in our little brown Subaru
and hauled it to Fairlea. In the
fog. Too foggy to fly, so he went by
ambulance to UVA. Endocarditis. I was working at the radio station WYKM at
that time. When life happens you just go
with it. You know what is important in
the big scheme of things and you kind of run on autopilot. We spent 6 weeks at that place. Everything they did made him sick. A very long 6 weeks. But he survived. We survived.
I understand his dislike of medicine.
He was always in the middle of it.
From the time he was diagnosed with a murmur at a very young age, the
heart surgery at age 11 and then valve replacement at age 18. I understood.
So here we were, no insurance, and big hospital bills. So I decided if
he wasn’t going to embrace medicine to keep him healthy, medicine was going to
embrace him. I went to nursing school. It was never out of a desire of mine that I
wanted to help mankind or anything like that.
It was purely selfish reasons. I
wanted to keep my husband alive. And it worked.
I monitored his Coumadin therapy.
I noticed illnesses before they got out of hand. If he had not had that illness I probably never
would’ve went to nursing school. But God
knew what He wanted for my life. I didn’t. We survived in that little shack with lots of
love, very little money and great friends and family. When the wind would blow it moved the
curtains on the inside. Water pipes
would freeze right behind the coal stove.
For this reason I told him I would not have kids until we could move to
a house that they wouldn’t become human popsicles. But somewhere along the way, time started
creeping up on me. I thought we had to
have kids. And soon. I mean I was going to be 25. Oh my, just thinking about this now makes me
laugh. So of course we had no more money
than when we started this marriage. And of course I was impatient. He wanted to build, I wanted fast. I knew if we built I would be old- like maybe
almost 30 or something when we finally started our family. So like he always
did, he gave in. We bought a double wide
and that was 1989. Well Miss Emily came
along 1990. And if anyone told me I could be as sick as I was during those 9
months I would never have believed them. The OB nurse actually changed my name because
I fame in so frequently for IV fluids. I
became known as Mrs. Hutsenpuker! Life
has a way of throwing kinks into what we think will be easy or what we say that
everyone is doing so why not us? Not an
easy pregnancy, but did I forget? Yes.
1993 Tanner made his entrance. I puked the whole 9 months and then 3 weeks
after he was born I had to have my gallbladder removed. There was an evening I was having a
gallbladder attack and the ambulance was called, I literally thought I was
dying. Here comes Lorrie and Jeffy
Thomas. They saw the ambulance from the
interstate, so stopped to help. People,
good people, have been popping in and out of my life for so long. And sometimes I get in a hurry just to get
through something that I don’t slow down and enjoy my journey. I don’t enjoy the folks God is placing in my
path. They are there I have no doubt for
a purpose. So I am slowing down. I am enjoying the journey. Our family was
complete. Boy, girl-perfect. Life became very busy, kids started
school. Danny drove to Clifton Forge, VA
every day and I worked. Grandma’s baby
sat. It worked. When Tanner started Kindergarten and I came
home I thought what now? Here I am 32
years old and my kids are in school.
What do I do with my life if I don’t have little ones? Well once again, Danny says “What?” But he gives in anyway. It wasn’t a hard decision. 1999 Jacob joined our family. Then it was truly complete. I had no time neither did Danny. Sports, school, church, we were busy, but
happy. We had all the normal things that come and go with having kids. Illnesses; Emily had seizures or so we
thought when she was 2, but that all checked out. Inherited a weak pain threshold. Hmmmmm who would’ve thought! Danny held her while she slept for her
EEG. The ticking of his heart valve was
often the only thing that would soothe that child. After she was born I handed her off as soon
as he came through the door and she hushed, just like magic. Head on his chest. Tanner has been the sickest of all
three. Croup as a baby. ER many nights. Midnight calls to Grandma Vivian to please
pray. Strep so many times that the
tonsils came out. Then when he was 8 we
were on our way to a football game-peewee league- and noticed Tanner was a
funny shade of yellow. Thank God for
doctors like Shawn Johnson, you know the kind that will pray with you, for you,
and call ahead to the ER and tell them all about you. He ended up in Roanoke, gallstones, huge ones!
We tried to teach our kids important things in life all the
while trying to follow Gods plan for our life.
We helped out in our church. We were
youth leaders, taught Sunday school, VBS, music, trustee; always there no
matter what. I didn’t realize it then,
but not only were we there for the church, God was there for us. Every time he delivered us from an illness,
every day he kept us safe on the road, every day he kept my family safe He was
there. When I got sick in 2007 I didn’t
understand why He didn’t just deliver me.
He had all those times before.
Danny always told me look for the good in everything. Always.
He also told me to look for the good in everybody.
Once again we were getting ready for a ballgame and Jacob
comes in my bedroom doubled over with pain.
I had a gut feeling. So to the ER
we went. Appendix. Another Doc Shawn moment. Life, life, life…
When I quit work in 2004 to stay at home it was one of the
hardest decisions I ever had to make.
But once again God took care of us.
As I look back on it now, God was working a lot of things out then. I got sick and couldn’t have worked, my mom
and dad’s health declined and they needed my help for everything. I was the closest of my siblings and it
worked out. Emily and Zac married in
2008 right after graduation. Following
in our footsteps. How could we argue
with that? Daddy got cancer in Dec 2009,
died in March 2010. I had cataract
surgery both eyes the same month, thanks to steroids. Tanner’s senior year of high school, Jacob
elementary, and Emily married and college, life did not slow down.
Mommy was heartbroken after daddy died and that December she
joined him in Heaven. I felt like an
orphan. Even surrounded by family there
is no feeling worse than losing both of the parents that loved you no matter
what you did. That same December 2010, I
tried experimental chemo for my auto immune disease. In Jan 2011, that night Danny came in with
that pea sized knot under his collar bone will forever be engraved upon my
mind. I had a gut feeling. I just knew! February I got pneumonia and ended up in the
hospital. Results of chemo! Weakened immunity. Danny came every day and he was sick. Sinus and cough! Another Doc Shawn moment. I made him go by the ER for my peace of
mind. And I remember telling Shawn, hey
while he is there make sure you get that pea size knot. Everything, of course, was ok. I came home, his knot grew. I went to the Cleveland clinic in March and
then Danny decided to go see Dr. Hanes.
He wouldn’t go while I was there to be bossy! By then it was a good size; golf ball. She of course ordered CT and everything that
should be done was done. And the thing
is, it wouldn’t have mattered what we did, the outcome would’ve been the same.
When we are born our days are numbered. We don’t have the privilege of knowing when
our days are up. When Danny was born His
days were numbered at 18,050. No more no
less. We were blessed with so much
happiness and goodness, God’s goodness.
There are no regrets. Only good memories, good kids that sometimes mess
up. But isn’t that the same way we are
with God? We mess up, He forgives
us. In our fairytale, mine and Danny’s,
we had the opportunity to talk of many things.
We knew his time was limited. But
that is so for us all. When we say
goodbye in the morning to the one we love we don’t know that it won’t be our
last. So don’t waste any of your
days. If you love someone or even if
there is just a little flutter tell them.
I am reminded today that life is short and did I tell that someone that
Jesus loves them? I know I did tell them
of Jesus and what He did for me but did I tell them what He did for me He would
do the same for them? I didn’t. And that is my regret. I will live with that but I will not be defeated
by it, because if I was the devil wins.
I will be a stronger Christian. I
will tell people that Jesus loves them.
If I am labeled as a fanatic then so be it! That’s a cross I will gladly carry! My days on earth have been 17, 577and I am
not guaranteed 17,578 so while I am here I want to make them count, every last
one of them! So to my friends that read
this I hope you all had that special Valentines date, complete with candy and
flowers and maybe even jewelry. Maybe
you became engaged or even got married.
Or maybe you lost the love of your life today, a parent or child? No matter if it is a new love, old love or
lost love the one true love of your life is Jesus. He is the one that can save you, give you
eternal life and supplies that unconditional love that we think we give but in
reality we don’t. Because we are human.
1 John 4:7 (NIV)
Let us love one
another, for love comes from God.
Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God
On this Valentine’s Day I don’t mourn my lost love. I thank God for him and the way he loved me
and the way he taught me to love. He
taught me to love him, our kids, other people, always finding the good in
them. So when I love today and every day
in the future, I love with the love of Christ…and Danny.
1
Corinthians 13:4-13
New Living Translation (NLT)
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or
proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not
irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not
rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love
never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every
circumstance.
8 Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and
special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! 9 Now
our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals
only part of the whole picture! 10 But when the time of perfection
comes, these partial things will become useless.
11 When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a
child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see
things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see
everything with perfect clarity, All that I know now is partial and incomplete,
but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me
completely.
13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the
greatest of these is love.
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