Monday, November 11, 2013

The Pew

Have you ever wondered about your seat or pew that you sit in each Sunday morning at church? Is it a random bench that just happened to be empty on the day you came and then it became "yours"? Were you "born and raised" on that pew? Your Mom and Dad sat there and so you sit there? Maybe you prefer the back seat or perhaps you are a front row christian. Irregardless of which seat you sit, God is there with you.
I was one of those that started on a seat when I was 10 or so. I sat there with friends and "grew up" on that bench. I married the friend I sat next to and that bench grew to include all our children and their "stuff"! Yes we were one of those families that had the whole pew! It didn't matter what we came to church for; regular service, funeral, wedding...it was known as our bench and most everyone in our church has their own pew-their own seat. You wouldn't think things like the simple place a person sits would be that big of an issue. But guess what? Yea it was for me! After Danny died you have no idea how hard it was just to go to church where I have to look at the front of the church where he last was. Very lifeless. But then again you all-we all-have lost loved ones. So, yes, you do know! So instead of becoming a church "hopper" I became a pew hopper. Every Sunday I tried a different seat. I couldn't feel at home in any of them. Sure people wanted me to sit with them, but it didn't feel like my home-my pew-my seat. I struggled the same in life trying to find my place. We are creatures of habit. Even in my king size bed, I don't move from my side-neither does my dog. As I tried to find my place in this world without Danny one day I was sitting in church and I realized I had stopped pew hopping! I have been sitting in the same pew for 10 months. My life is kind of like that. Its like one day I woke up and I realized life is going on, holidays go by, birthdays come and go, major events happen and I find myself laughing and looking forward to life. Its then that I realized that my pew hopping-life chasing-regrets-sadness- was in the past and I can thank Danny for that. He loved me with a love that can never be replaced, but also with a love that said you were cherished and can be again. He loved me with the love of Christ as his guide. He loved me for me! Even with all my flaws! When I begin to really miss him, especially the holidays, I can feel the love of Jesus wrap me up!
When I became choir director I changed my seat so I could be close to the piano, so I guess you could say I moved purey for laziness! Little did I know, 10 months later, that seat would mean so much to me. It symbolizes so much I have overcome! One little bench! We have pew issues in our church-just like every church we are a little quirky! But hey, thats OK 'cause we are Quirky for Christ! We as humans beings put our hope in things that really don't matter. That reminds me of the song On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand: My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness, I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus' name. On Christ the solid Rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand!
When I sit on my pew-that I now call mine- it's me and Jesus! It feels like home!

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord for a hope and a future

He has restored my broken dreams and I know He has hope and a future for me, because He loves me!

1 Peter 5:10
And the God of all grace...will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast!

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