If you ask anyone who knows me they will tell you I am a
pretty genuine person! If I say
something I mean it. If I am your friend
you can depend on me. But if I am your
friend I may need to depend on you! That’s
how friendship works, any relationship really.
It’s give and take. I talk you
listen, you talk I listen! It’s a marvelous
concept and works well actually. My
earthly relationships work so well that when
I was in that big black hole last year, I had no other choice but to treat God
the same way. I was taking, taking,
taking. It was my turn to talk, talk,
talk. And he listened, listened,
listened! What an amazing feeling to
pour out all your troubles to someone who you now loves you no matter what you
say! And it’s like you are having coffee
and you are chatting and the waitress keeps coming back to top it off. But you know how it is when you are out with
a friend having coffee and you get that feeling that someone is waiting on your
table or your kids or husbands are waiting at home on you to do something! Well when I talk to God I have His full
attention and our cup of coffee has been getting topped off for a long time
now! Our table is reserved for just
us! So just like any good friendship I
have to take my turn! It’s my turn to
listen and the things I hear are amazing!
How I hear them? You will
probably think a little unconventional, definitely not God like! But He created ALL things. And trust me if He created it, He can talk
through it and work through it! A friend
had shared a song with me on Thanksgiving Day.
A beautiful song, but the most amazing thing was that a 10 yr old girl
is singing it! She sounds like she is 30.
So yesterday I am with my sister braving the elements of Black Friday
which is kind of funny because the title of the song was Dark Waltz! Anyway,
she decides to get a haircut so I say cool I am gonna sit in this other chair
and put my head phones in while they do hair!
I look this little girl up on YouTube and watch her amazing woman voice come
out of her tiny child body; The Dark Waltz.
Then that peaks my curiosity.
What else has she sang! So as I look for more I see where she sings with
a famous opera singer. I begin to listen
to it! So beautiful the voices that take
the notes to an octave that I can only dream of. But then I begin to hear past the angelic
voice and “hear” the lyrics, “Time To Say Goodbye”. I feel just a little tug at my heart and say
OK enough of THAT song, NEXT! Meanwhile
Rita and her hairdresser are all this and that with a snip here and a snip
there, like ¼ inch is really going to matter?
But Hello! I do the good sister
thing and give her a thumbs up, take off the head phones and tell them, “wonderful,
looks good!” Back with the head
phones. So I go back to YouTube and you
all know if you pull up one child singer with a famous person you will get
10,000! So here is another child singing
with Celine Dion. Beautiful again! Singing for her mother who is there with her
as she sings! As the song ends once
again I feel that tug at my heart as I listen to the lyrics, “Because You Loved Me”
“You were my strength
when I was weak, You were my voice when I couldn’t speak, you were my eyes when
I couldn’t see you saw the best there was in me. Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach you gave
me faith cause you believed, I’m everything I am because you loved me.
You were always there
for me, the tender wind that carried me.
A light in the dark shining your love into my life, you’ve been my
inspiration through the lies you were the truth. My world is a better place because of you! I’m everything I am because You loved
me!
I raise my head up as the tears start to sting my eyes and
Rita and her hair dresser are still in “hair mode”. Tuck it here, snip it there! Trivial things! But yet, still necessary every day moments
that we call life! Yes God talks to me
through YouTube! Just as sure as he
talks to me in church on Sunday morning, He was talking to me through those
songs! Telling me, Yes, it’s time to say
goodbye but not SADLY! Say goodbye
GLADLY! I can say goodbye because he
loved me! Danny was my everything and I
will carry him with me every day I go forward! He was my encourager, my
inspiration, my eyes, my voice, my strength, the wind that carried me! And yes my world is a better place because of
him. And not only my world but so many
others! God handpicked those songs for
me to hear at that moment so that I could say goodbye. I struggle with the whole “Christmas Spirit”
thing! I don’t like Christmas because
that was Danny’s time! He loved
everything about it. The excitement, the
surprised, the wonder of it all! The
children, those young in age and young at heart! Since he passed I just can’t find my
Christmas spirit. In December 2011 I
bought a book called “The Spirit of Christmas”.
A childrens book complete with illustrations! Because I knew in my heart this would be his
last Christmas. I never read it. Didn’t want to! And I was right, it was his last Christmas! But this book has something for me! I just don’t know what! So I sat this book on a shelf in my Living
Room! It stays there all year! Every season!
It has been there for 2 years, never moved, never opened, never read. Last Sunday as I go to Jacob’s room to wake
him up for church this book falls out of its spot that it has been for 2 years
right in front of me! So I pick it up
and yes, acknowledge God with the fact that He put that before me! “OK God, I get it! I need to read the book!” So I take it with me to church and I find
time to read it between worship service and play practice. I squeeze it in my schedule! But that’s it! I didn’t want to give it too much time
because I knew there was something in there for me! Well after I read it, I was like, “yeah nice”
Christmas Spirit! I know I need it! But knowing it and getting it are two
different things! So after the Celine Dion
song and trying to hold back the tears I take my head phones off and say
alright God, enough of that today! I
came here to shop! When I step back into
reality of the beauty shop, Rita is almost finishing up. Of course there is music playing inside the
shop! Back to the relationship with God,
it’s still my turn to listen, listen, listen!
We are still topping off that cup of coffee! Just because I said ENOUGH, didn’t mean He
was finished talking. And I have to
listen! After all He listened to
me! So the song playing as I fight back
my tears and feel my heart breaking all over again is Faith Fill singing “Where
Are You Christmas?” You know God has to
get that last word in! He is telling me,
“yes, it’s ok to say goodbye to Danny because he loved you so much that’s what
he wanted for you!” To move on and be
happy! And above all he wants me to find
“My Christmas” not his Christmas spirit; he wants me to find my Christmas spirit! So I jump out of my chair and tell them I
have to get out of there before I cry all over the place and of course they have
no idea what’s been going on in my chair!
Had no clue God was pouring it all over me! So I go out to wait for Rita to finish up and
there by the jewelry store I see a necklace with a cross-not just any necklace but
the new style, a sideways cross! Then I
say, nice! No sooner do I say that, turn
around and a lady passes right in front of me with that very necklace on. That sideways cross! And it’s like ding ding ding ding! THAT’S my Christmas Spirit! It’s not the excitement or surprise! It’s not the lights or tinsel! Not even the
presents or the food! As I read the book,
The Christmas Spirit, yet again, right now, this is what it tells me about The
Christmas Spirit!
He spoke to me then
in a whisper of wings. “There are gentle
things the season brings.” Snow that
lies silent. As quiet as a mouse. And
all roads that lead to your grandmother’s house. Ten lords – a leaping as seven swans
swim. And of course, Santa Claus, I’m
just getting to him! I lifted my chin
and stared up at the ceiling. I still wasn’t
getting that warm Christmas feeling. That’s
when the spirit of Christmas smiled. “Remember,
this all began with a child. Because it
took nothing but love to begin it, it’s not really Christmas if love isn’t in
it.” Your tree may be large as the room
will allow with a big yellow star on the uppermost bough, but of one thing I’m
certain, I’m sure of one thing. It is
love that makes the angels sing. And that’s
when I got it. That’s when I knew! The thing that was missing from Christmas was
you! Nancy Tillman, “The Spirit of Christmas”
Psalm 39:7
But now, Lord, what
do I look for? My hope is in you.
That’s my Christmas
spirit! My hope is in Christ Jesus
who came to earth as a baby to give us a hope and a future! But it doesn’t stop there, No! He walked upon this earth just as we do,
talked to his heavenly father, just as we do, and he worked all manner of
miracles! But even that wasn’t
enough! He loved, loved, loved! He loved us so much He died for us!
John
3:16 (KJV)
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten
Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting
life.
That’s my Christmas spirit! So I may not have a tree with sparkling
lights. I may not have presents under
the tree. I won’t have a wreath on my
door but I will have Jesus in my heart and that’s
my Christmas spirit!
My prayer and hope for each of you
is that you find “your” Christmas spirit just as I found mine! And while you are finding your Christmas spirit
take just a few moments to find Jesus and let Him fill your heart! Trust me; it’s the greatest gift of all! And it will be the start of a beautiful friendship
and an “endless cup of coffee”!
Merry Christmas!
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