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The More I Seek You- Kari Jobe

The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you
I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heartbeat
This love is so deep its more than I can stand,
I melt in your peace, it's so overwhelming

This song has been calling to me all week. Its so simple. It's friendship. I have friends that are acquaintances but I don't know their story. And then I have friends that I know their story and I love them all the more for their story. For what they have gone through or are going through. I love that they have chosen to let Christ bring their Beauty from Ashes! I love that they share their story with me! We are all open books with pages yet to be filled with the ink from the Masters Pen. Sometimes when I think my life is over and there is nothing left for me to do or times when I feel like, "God what can you do with me!?" He reminds me to look at my book. My pages are only half filled. There is so much life left. My pages are no where near being filled. When God dips his pen of love in my heart- that's when He will complete my story! Its hard to wrap my mind around the part that God already knows my story. He knows how it all ends. If He would write our stories and give us the book, we couldn't absorb it. So He gives us bit by bit, page by page, chapter by chapter. In the meantime we have the most wonderful opportunity to develop a friendship with our Savior.

Proverbs 3:32
He offers his friendship to the godly

I have done a lot of soul searching this week and I don't even begin to see why He wants to be my friend. I try to pray to what I think is His will. But this week I have had to be honest with Christ! I just don't know what to pray. I know HOW but I don't know what! I have become more honest with Him. Sometimes I get tired of waiting, so I tell Him. When I don't understand my situation, I tell Him. When I feel helpless or hopeless, I tell Him. He listens and I pour out my complaints and worries. And as I seek Him, I find Him and then I just love Him, because He knows all my secrets, my fears, my regrets and my desires. And while I am there loving Him, He is loving me! Even knowing all He does He still loves me- loves me because He knows my story. He loves that I share my story with Him. He loves it when I give Him those pages of worry, pages of fear and regret. The more He knows the closer friends we become.

James 4:8
Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you

There is no one who doesn't desire a best friend that you can get mad at, blame everything on, confide in, be completely honest with; and then they still want you to call them! Well praise God I have that friend. And he sticks closer than a brother- and I have some really good brothers!

Psalm 142:2-3a
I pour out before Him my complaint; before Him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way

If I am being honest, I can't say I actually ever got mad or blamed God for my circumstances but I have wished they were different. I have questioned Him and I am still waiting on those answers. But as He continues to write the pages of my book He reveals those answers to me. Each time He writes upon my heart, I am blessed and I feel such overwhelming peace and love- I couldn't stand it if I got it all at one time! So I just trust Him with each page as He writes my story. And as my pages become chapters I am overwhelmed with how much He wants me to be loved and to love. If I get nothing else out of my life here on earth I want it to be love. I have so much love to give and I know it's because I have received...by Mommy and Daddy, my brothers and sisters, Danny, my kids, my church family, my friends-I could never begin to bottle it all up. If this love was ink I would have a never ending well! None of that love was deserved but given freely through Christ! And that's how I want to repay my friend-give it all away! It isn't love until you give it away!

John 15:9-11
Jesus said, "I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey me, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father and remain in His love. I have told you this so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!

I want to do it out of love-everything out of love, because He first love me. I want to do great things for God, but I also want to do those small things that may not have a great impact on the world or leave a trail for all the world to see. Things like being a friend when my friend feels like they have no where else to go or no one else to turn to. I want to love that child that no one else loves. I want to fill the evening of someone who has no one- to take away the loneliness. I want to be the laughter of someone who is so sad. I want to be the voice for that someone who is afraid to speak up for themselves! None of these things would impact the world, but they would impact an individual. I know because I have been impacted by individuals loving me and doing those small things. My friends and sometimes strangers have done everything that I have penned here. They have filled my lonely days and nights by phone calls, Facebook and visits. They have sat with me, cried with me, watched silly movies, prayed with me! And they have loved my children when they needed love or didn't feel love. They have been my laughter in the face of sadness and they have been my voice when I couldn't find my voice. When I didn't have words! And when I found words and have so much to say, so many feelings that I sometimes can't express- my friends are there listening to me! Offering me scripture, feeding my soul! And my soul is hungry. I eat every morsel that is tossed my way!
As I become best friends with my Savior, I care about what He cares about. I want to do the things He requires of me; love others, help the needy, forgive, lead others to Christ, keep our lives clean! Love is our motivator! I want to live my life in His presence every day. I have become dependent on Him for everything. I have become Addicted to Jesus! He is just like the drugs on the street or any other addiction. I have called upon Him everyday in every situation and He has never let me down. I cannot imagine facing my day without Him to turn to. No hope! No Peace! No love! No forgiveness! That to me would be most devastating!

Psalm 63:3
Your love means more than life to me

Friendships and relationships- whether they are friends or family- are the most important thing in life. They are what matters in this life and the eternal life, because we will live forever with Christ! The most important relationship and friend you can have of course is Christ Jesus! If He is your closest and dearest friend your other relationships will be icing on the cake! Paul told Timothy in

1 Timothy 6:21
Some of these people have missed the most important thing in life-They don't know God!

Gods love never wears out! That's why you have to have Jesus in all your relationships if they are going to last.

Ephesians 3:18-19
And may you have the power to understand, as all Gods people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.