Presence

I did the countdown like everyone else.  First it was weeks til Christmas, then it was Fridays til christmas, then finally we started counting down days.  On Christmas Eve I thought, Thank God, it is almost here!  I am never so happy to see a holiday come just so it can go! 

 As I sat at candlelight service I prayed to just feel His presence.  That’s all I wanted for Christmas!  I get caught up in just surviving this time of year.  I try to get through all the “merriness”, all the festivities, the food, the gifts; that I forget to just sit back and let it pass me by and enjoy the simplicity of Christmas!  The manger, the children, the love, the generosity, the familiar traditions, and warmth; warmth of fireplaces, warmth of homes shared, warmth of peoples hearts.  Sometimes at Christmas this is the only time we may see them.  If I am too busy wallowing in my own sad story I may miss that small window of opportunity to share the story of Jesus with someone. 

 The countdown finally hit the hour.  Christmas was here.  I don’t know what I expected to happen.  I guess I thought magically after it came it would all be back to normal.  I dreaded the day but it began to shape up with our new traditions.  Seems we are following Emily and Zac around the state.  So this year we made our way to Charleston, which I have to say was way better than Morgantown!  Kids cooked potato soup and cornbread, we listened to tacky Christmas carols, watched Home Alone 2(one of our Christmas favorites) and opened gifts.  We made our way out and about the city taking pictures.  I was still waiting to “feel” Christmas!  

We entered the NICU at Women's and Children's hospital to visit baby Cooper Bailes and his parents.  As I felt his little fingers wrap around mine, that is when I felt Christmas.  I could feel determination, perseverance, “grit”, Christmas magic, hope, love…I could feel Jesus, just the same as if He had come down from Heaven and wrapped his fingers around mine; all right there in little Coopers grasp. Only 6 weeks old and 4lbs and he had already been through so much-premature by 10 weeks, multiple surgeries- and yet here he is helping me find Christmas!

Psalm 145:9 (NIV)

9 

The Lord is good to all;

    he has compassion on all he has made.

 At candlelight as I prayed for Gods presence I also asked to “feel” Danny's presence.  He was so much a part of my birthday, with the flowers, candy and jewelry, I just wanted a little glimpse of him now.  There are only 3 things that I actually wanted at Christmas, well not really Christmas, but I just wanted. 

 1) A family picture for my wall.  A friend not only took it, but had it made and delivered!  2) Tina and I were shopping at the mall a couple weeks before Christmas and I saw several pictures on canvas of churches but they were quite expensive.  So I asked her to take a picture of that little white church at Green Sulphur, Lick Creek Baptist Church.  But I wanted it when it snowed because they have lights that shine in the windows!  Not a tough order for a photographer, we just had to wait for the snow.  I didn’t tell anyone else, no need, she had this, just wait for the snow.  Week of Christmas and we are exchanging gifts at work.  Dr. Martin and I were exchanging gifts and as I pull out the gift I know he had to wonder about the expression on my face.  There on the canvas is a little white church…in the snow…and on the side was a switch…it lit up candles in the windows of the church! So I asked him, “did God tell you to get that for me?” and he says, “I think He did!”  3) So I was doing the Walmart thing one evening with Tina and as we passed down the aisle with kitchen utensils I admired silverware and glasses!  Not just any silverware but the polished kind, yes I know I am warped, but just go with it!  I was still using the silverware Danny’s aunt had gotten us for a wedding gift 30 years ago and it had seen many hard knocks.  And my dishwasher had ruined my set of glasses I had. I admired it and told Tina I was going to buy that…after Christmas.  We had Christmas for the Treadway’s this past weekend and here comes Emily with a gift bag and guess what was inside.  My flatware!  But not just any flatware, it was polished, just like I wanted.  And my glasses…Tanner had them wrapped and we packed them to Charleston and back again.  I know I didn’t tell THEM my Christmas list for eating utensils and drinking glasses!  So it would seem that God once again had given me my hearts desires! 

 But I was still waiting for that one thing,  Danny!  I am always waiting on that one thing!  So when we got to Steve and Teresa’s for our annual Christmas dinner, here comes Tanner with a Bible in his hand.  He said look at this bible Teresa found in Grandpa’s desk.  Now remember, Grandpa has been dead almost 5 years now!  5 years!!  I know Teresa has had multiple times to find this bible.  Inside the front cover was the inscription;

Thank God for what He has done for you Danny…July 25, 1974

the year he had his 1st heart surgery…signed Pastor Leroy Crane.

I don’t remember how that bible ended up there but I know it ended up in my hand at this time because I needed to “feel” Danny’s presence this Christmas!  I just love how my God takes care of the little details of my life and he not only supplies my needs but even the desires of my heart!

Psalm 37:4 (NIV)

4 

Take delight in the Lord,

    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

In my heart are many desires; some spoken, some unspoken, but I know in Gods time, these desires will become reality…Gods time.

Matthew 22:37 (NIV)

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’

Romans 5:5 (NIV)

5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

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