Follow the Road

Sitting on the edge of the river bank with the fishing pole in the water, the fishing line is stretched tight across the river.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell if the water is taking the line and bait or if a fish has taken hold of it.  But one thing is for sure, the boys sitting there on the bank have the faith that there will be a fish on the other end of their line…eventually.  That’s how faith works!  You know it’s going to happen…you just wait for it.

1 Timothy 6:12

Fight the good fight of the faith.  Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

As I tried to find my way to the camp by the river, I went on directions Randy gave me.  They have been there a million times and I am sure they thought there should be no problem.  Follow the road, follow the road, that’s what they said.  When I followed the road I ended up at a white gate, dead end.  So back up and take a left go across the railroad tracks and once again, follow the road.  What about the fork in the road?  Stay left, all minor little details but all important.  Had I not known which way to go I would’ve ended up at the wrong place.  I figured it out with a little help.

My life is kind of like these directions.  God keeps telling me, follow the road, follow the road, but then I end up at unexplained dead ends and He says back up and go left.  I do and eventually get where God is leading me.  Sunday morning was one of those snags in the road.  It was chilly but I had my window up just a little; enough so that the cat jumped up to enjoy the fresh air.  When he jumped up all of my books hit the floor.  So instead of picking them up I decided to go ahead and get dressed for church they could wait til after.  So to church I went.  Our sermon was “The Good Soldier” 1 Timothy 6:12 fight the Good Faith.  All about faith.

Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)

⁶ And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

I have been struggling with my faith.  Saturday I was working out in the yard.  The longer I worked the madder I got.  This was something Danny always enjoyed.  He did the big stuff I did the little stuff.  Last year I avoided the yard all together.  Kind of like my house.  If I ignore it, it will go away.  Well it’s been almost 2 years and no, it doesn’t go away.  It’s still there.  Every reminder of him still there.  His hat is still  in the same spot, hanging there as if he is coming back.  So every weed I trimmed reminded me one more time, he isn’t coming back.  So I finally quit and went to the woods.  That was no better,; trees had fallen down during various storms, across the roadway, blocking the path. I thought how different it would’ve been had he been there.  We would walk that same path I was walking only he would decide what needed done and we would do it.  Only there isn’t a we anymore there is only me.  The same things need done except I don’t enjoy doing them.  I try…but after 2 years I still can’t.  Shouldn’t I be better by now?  I am better at hiding it.  I am better at covering it up.  I am better at changing the subject… but no I am not better.  I remember last Memorial Day…wasn’t that just yesterday?  Seems like it.  Time has passed but not the memories.  Why is that?  I had a dental appt and as it so happened there was an emergency.  So the dental assistant had to sit and keep me company.  Chit chat!  Don’t you know her husband died of cancer 8 years before…she still feels like it was yesterday.  So I guess I am not so out of the ordinary after all.  The tears don’t come as often or at least as often in public anymore.  I have learned to suppress.  Although the sadness I can’t hide.  Someone told me this weekend I was very transparent.  I don’t think I like being so transparent so that I have no place to hide.  No hiding place.  When things are out of balance they don’t work right.  I am out of balance…still.  Will that last forever?  That’s where my questionable faith comes in.  I want to have the faith that it will all work out but I am weak.  And I know that when I am weak He is strong.  So right now He should be very strong.  Life confuses me.  Kind of like the directions to Randys camp.  Which way do I go?  Left or right?  Dead ends!  I feel like a leaf floating on the river; carried by the current, this way and that.  Sometimes without a purpose or a plan just drifting.  But I know that isn’t so.  It’s just that I don’t know what it is.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

He knows my plan, I just don’t have the faith to trust him and go along with it.  After church I came home and there in the floor were all the books….still in the floor.  So I began to pick them up.  The first book caught my eye.  “Understanding How to Fight the Good Fight of Faith” by Kenneth Hagin.  Isn’t that just like God?  I had come to a dead end and He was telling me to just breathe…slow down…back up and go left.  He was telling me to go across the railroad tracks and just follow the road.  Just follow the road.  Are there going to be forks in the road ahead?  Yes.  Confusing dead ends?  Yes…but with faith I will follow the road, follow the road.  He knows my plan, my future; I just have to trust him with it.  If he has to knock over a few books to get my attention then that’s one of those minor road bumps.  I have had this book for a year now and I have picked it up, read a page or two and put it back.  But I think God is telling me now is the time to read it.  He has something to tell me and it is in this book.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

He is trying to fix my balance…If I will only see the old me…the old “we” is gone.  I am a new creature thanks to Christ.

2 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV)

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day

 

Faith grows with understanding Gods Word.

John 16:23 (NIV)

²³ In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name

As I follow the road…the road God has laid out ahead for me this is all I know to do!

1 Chronicles 22:19a (NIV)

¹⁹ Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God.

I am sure there will be no dead ends on this path!

 

 

 

 

Worthy

Worthy.  Worth.  This word has been plaguing me for a week.  So this morning at 330am I finally had to get it out on paper.  But the funny thing is I don’t have a clue what I’m supposed to write.  So I will start with what I know.  Scripture.

John 3:16 (KJV)

¹⁶ For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Apparently God thought we were worthy.  In fact, so worthy that He sent His only son to die for us.  He counted us worth!  God said we are worthy so let’s be worthy.

Every day I encounter people that think their life doesn’t matter.  They think they are just here, existing.   Some think they would be better off dead; that the world would be better without them.  I think God created us each with a specific purpose to fulfill.  We all have our own special gifts to fulfill the job He designed for us.  So with that attitude of I don’t matter, we are saying God created me for nothing!  We all know that saying, “I know I’m special ‘cause God don’t make no junk!”  All we have to do is look around at the canvas He has painted.  The beauty of the sky, fields, streams and yes, even look to the people he created;   each unique, each different.  We all have a different nose, a different walk, we talk different.  We have different likes, different skin, some have big ears, others big mouths, but God has a plan and purpose for each one.  Our job is to figure out what it is.  While we figure it out, it’s important to uplift our neighbor because just as we struggle to find our place, they are finding their place too.  How far will a find word go to help that person who is having a bad day?  Maybe God gave you a big mouth to encourage someone!  Maybe he gave you big ears to hear someone’s troubles.  He may have given you a big heart to feel their pain or big shoulders to help carry their burden.  He may have given you eyes full of compassion to share someone’s grief. Perhaps he gave you swift feet to visit someone who is in need of a friendly visit.  Maybe rough hands to help someone who is needy!  Whatever you have, one thing is for sure, its God given and it is worth a lot.  You are worthy!  God said so!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God! “

 M.  Williamson

Undesirable.  Unaccepted.  Unworthy.  Not wanted.  These are all things that Satan wants us to believe about ourselves.  And when we don’t fall into the trap he sends his minions to fulfill it for him.  He invades our homes, our minds and the next thing you know we are spouting it out of our mouth!  I am guilty!  What starts out as an innocent conversation ends up a gossip session about a friend, a member of the congregation, co-worker.  We are all guilty.  We can’t let our guard down for even one minute.  Once those words come out of the mouth we can’t take them back.  The tongue is very sharp and it cuts deeply.  People may forgive but they don’t forget.  We are all worthy!

Ephesians 2:10 (KJV)

¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Philippians 1:6 (KJV)

⁶ Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Romans 8:1 (KJV)

8 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Our lives matter, each and every one of us.  We all have worth.  So let’s honor God, he created us to build each other up and to love each other.  He wants us to see the worth that He sees in us.  Let’s take what he started and add to it.  Let’s be worthy!

Colossians 1:10 (NLT)

¹⁰ Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.

 

Psalm 138:8 (NLT)

⁸ The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me.

Happy Mothers Day 2014

Hands

Take My Hand Precious Lord

Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

When my way grows drear
Precious Lord linger near
When my life is almost gone
Hear my cry, hear my call
Hold my hand lest I fall
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

When the darkness appears
And the night draws near
And the day is past and gone
At the river I stand
Guide my feet, hold my hand
Take my hand precious Lord, lead me home

When I was a child I remember anytime I was afraid or alone someone would hold my hand.  Coming from a large family it could’ve been anyone; mom, dad, brother, sister, lots to choose from.  The feeling you get from just the entanglement of fingers is so overwhelming there are almost no words for it.  Safety.  Comfort.  Love.  Security.  Those are all emotions we all have felt at one time or another.  I also remember holding hands the first time with Danny.  Different emotions…scared, nervous, sweaty…actually I felt nauseous but it quickly resolved to familiar!   When my kids were little I held their hands out of a need to keep them safe and to hold on to them.  As they grew older they would search out my hand to hold when they were scared or frightened, lonely or needed comforting.  When we have our family get together we make a circle and hold hands.  We take the hand of the one beside us, give it a squeeze, and offer up our thanks to God for allowing us to be together!  When we are at church we often have prayer, special prayer, and we gather in a circle and hold hands.  We entangle not only our fingers with one another but also our hearts and lives.  We are telling that one beside of us that we have the time to get involved in their life to offer up a prayer, sacrificing a little time and a little piece of our heart.

I remember when I had the kids I had to have C-sections, all three.  Of course with a spinal you are numb from the waist down and pretty much the whole trunk up to the arms.  My arms were strapped down and all I could feel were my fingers.  On a stool sitting beside me was Danny.  He couldn’t do much but he did hold my hand.  How I wish I had a picture of his hands now!  Just the feel of his hand to mine calmed the anxious feeling in my chest better than any medicine they gave me.  It also told my brain that we could handle everything no matter what it was.  When he squeezed my fingers it brought me back to reality that life is amazing, wonderful, scary and unpredictable. But above all else life was full of love and you can feel it all with your fingertips.  All of those nerves at the end of your fingertips goes to everywhere else in your being, your heart, head and soul.   

I remember the moment each of my children looked at me and reached out with their tiny hands to grab that one finger, what an amazing feeling.  It went all the way to the core, my heart and soul.  The first time was no different from the third time.  I was in awe!  I think about my mom, I was number 11!  I know she thought I was just as special as the first all because she had never met ME!  God had created me just for her!  God wires mothers extra special I think because we have an extra special job for 9 months we have a connection and special bond like no other! 

But just as that touch of the hand is so overwhelming in birth and life, so it is in death as well.  I have sat by so many bedsides and held the hands of many as their last breath was taken.  Held the hand of the one I loved for 30 years until it was cold, Held the ones that gave me life…as they completed their race.  I thank God that I have not had to hold the hand of my child in death…but I know many that have.  We will all go through many trials in life and death, that’s promised to us.  But it is also promised to us that God will be there with us and not give us more than we can handle. 

1 Corinthians 10:13 (GNT) |

¹³ Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out

There is just something about the touch and feel of a hand.  It speaks volumes.  I didn’t realize it until today that this Mothers Day is the 100^th anniversary of Mothers Day!  We have been celebrating mothers around the world for 100 years…officially. 

Think how Mary felt 2000 years ago when she looked into the face of her newborn baby and she reached out to take his tiny hand.  Those same hands that played in the dirt with other kids, then the hands that performed miracles like they were nothing.  The same hands that were nailed to the cross for you and me! 

Life is not guaranteed but death is.  If you are blessed with a mother here on earth, and I do mean blessed, go tell her you love her.  Hold her hand, hug her neck, and kiss her cheek!  Or if you have a special woman in your life that has been a great influence, tell her.  The mother of your children?  Tell her what a great Mom she is.  Because I’m here to tell you, being a mom is a hard job.  It should come with hazard pay. But it also has the greatest of rewards.  All at the touch of a hand… tip of the fingers!  Hold hands with someone tomorrow and if your mom is in heaven…think of her!  I know I will!

 

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV)

¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:4 NIV)

• You can be glad because God is good.
• You can be still because He is active.
• You can rest because He is busy

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:31 NIV)

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10 NIV)

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Classmates

For anyone who has ever been a classmate!

Which way did he go George, which way did he go?  How many of you remember that cartoon?  I know you all are seeing that huge abominable snowman in your mind.  Picking up George and holding him by the neck and saying in that funny little voice, which way did he go George, which way did he go?

That’s kind of how I feel.  Thinking about my 30 year class reunion has brought that thought up with practically everyone’s pictures I see in the year book, except for those few like me who have stayed in Greenbrier County and our way didn’t go very far.  Or did it?  I have wondered many times if so and so actually did what they said they were going to do.  While I find others actually did stuff I never thought they would do.  And then there are some of us like me who never moved out of the neighborhood but yet I feel like I have been on a tremendous journey sometimes.

I haven’t kept up with any of my classmates except for occasionally running into them at Wal-Mart or facebook.  Life got busy for us all.  We raised families went to school, started careers, accomplished great things.  And now here we are almost ½ decade old and we gather with friends we feel like we hardly know.  For some or most we met in high school, hung out for 3 years and went our separate ways.  Did we really know each other then?  No I don’t think so.  I remember seeing faces day in and day out, smiles that hid so much.  Teenage years are the hardest EVER!  We got by and got through with the help of those faces.  Our parents didn’t understand or so we thought.  Now here we are with teenagers of our own and they are doing the same thing.  They think we don’t have a clue but has it really been that long?  30 years?!  But I can remember walking the halls of Greenbrier West like it was yesterday.  I can still hear the choir singing Billie Joel’s tune It’s Still Rock and Roll to me in my head.  Humming along.  When I go to a ballgame I can still feel the atmosphere as if I was 16.  But there is something about those classmates we surround ourselves with.  The ones that have the same home life and we know by just the look in their eyes.  Maybe their grief is the same as yours and you just know by that same look.  You can almost feel it.  So yes, the bonds we formed 30 years ago were brief, 3 years for most, but they were bonds.  And I am proud to say I was in a class of 140 or so that made it out alive and traveled to the other side, 30 years later.

It’s funny, I think, how we feel the need to reconnect at some level to see how we all turned out.  It’s almost like we were turkeys cooking and now 30 years later someone sticks a fork in us and says, “OK, this one’s done?”  By now we have all grown up, raised our families for the most part, many have started new families, jobs have come and went, spouses, come and gone, health on the decline, many of us have lost parents and spouses and now we find ourselves at a crossroads.  That’s where I am.  I am trying to figure out, which way do I go Lord, which way do I go?

Proverbs 16:9

In their hearts humans plan their course but the Lord establishes their steps

When you lose the one you have traveled through life with for 30 years, whether it is death or divorce, you instantly meet road blocks.  I feel like I am at a 4 way stop sign and my engine has stalled- and given my history of car accidents this winter, I am not stretching the truth here!  My kids are all almost grown; do I go back to school?  I have a big empty house; do I sell it and go smaller?  So many questions and unfortunately I don’t travel with the pack of kids that helped me make decisions when I was at Greenbrier West.  I am alone.  My decisions.  My mistakes. I’ll have to live with it.  But the good thing is in my last 30 years I have travelled a road that has been bumpy, treacherous at times; curvy and well at times it has come to a dead end.  And I know that my class mates have traveled this same road.  We have grown, matured and we have found that we can’t go this road alone.  The one thing I have noticed as I have reconnected with many friends and former classmates is not the size of theirhouse or what kind of car they drive but it is their testimony and how they have overcome obstacles to just survive.  I notice thatthey reached out to God.  They have called upon Jesus to help them in their struggles and I see He has done it.  He has made a way when there seemed to be no way.  I know many have jumped hurdles and have overcome many things to get to where they are today.  Many still have a long way to go.

I hope and pray as we get ready for a class reunion that it will be more than just reuniting and seeing familiar faces.  I hope we get the chance to uplift someone and help them if they are at their crossroads of life.  Similar to high school, there will be those that have already gone where we are headed.  Change is exciting but also scary.  It’s ok to ask someone to hold your hand even if it’s just for a little while.  Jesus holds our heart and he places people in our path to hold our hand for part of our journey; our angels on earth.  Our travels wouldn’t be near as meaningful without those relationships He gives us.   Treat them gently and with kindness.  Love when it seems like you can’t.  Forgive when everything inside of you says no!  Trust them when they give you no reason to.  Why?  That’s what Jesus would do!  That’s what He expects of us…We can’t disappoint the one that created us!  He doesn’t ask much of us…Love Jesus, love your neighbor.  I think we can do that!

John 15:12

My command is this;  Love each other as I have loved you!