Things I Have Learned

I had the privilege of sharing lunch with a wise friend last week, a wise old friend.  She will be 90 on her birthday in April.  She shared laughter.  She shared sadness.  She shared sadness.  She shared her life story.  She has buried more than 1 husband.   As I think of my own life I wonder how has she made it this far?  Some days I wonder how am I going to make it to the end of the day much less years?!  Her language is off color at times.  She likes the “wow” factor.   She likes to shock me!  I also notice she likes to stretch the truth.  Is that her way to cover the pain?  Does that make life easier or does that just make it different?  What have you learned in life?  I am finding I am learning lots from my life but I am also learning from others.  Sometimes it’s easier to sit back and look at another’s life and say that’s not what I want to happen to me.  Or I would rather do this instead of that.  That’s why God gives us a testimony.  And yes, we all have one.  Most of us are living our testimony.  At times we have to slow down and share it with friends, neighbors, and strangers so they can learn from our mistakes, learn from our trials, and learn and gain strength on how we become over comers.

Proverbs 25:12 (GW)

¹² Like a gold ring and a fine gold ornament,
so is constructive criticism to the ear of one who listens.

We can learn so much from others.  We don’t always have to experience it.  But when we do experience it, we have to be willing to step out on faith and share that.  We have to show and tell what God did for us.  How he delivered us time after time.

1 Peter 3:15-16 (NIV)

¹⁵ But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ¹⁶ keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

God has been good to me.  But life…and death happens.  We take the good, the bad, and we come out on the other side at the end of life with a wisdom and knowledge that we can somehow help someone’s travels to be a little easier.  That’s our mission on this earth.  Not for us to get through life and say I made it.  But for us to get through and say, now who did I help while I struggled?  Who did I lift up when I was down too?  There is always someone at the bottom of the barrel when you get there.  We are never alone.  NEVER!  And when we are even on our final breath oblivious to the people that are around us, if we have lived this way, the ways that Christ teaches, then we are still lifting others up as we go out.  I have sat by the bedside of many who took their last breath.  Stayed with them till they were cold.  Some had no one!  I often wondered what kind of life did they live that no one would sit there with them.  And I wondered about their life and in their final moments was Jesus able to reach them?  He is supernatural!  We don’t have to know anything about it.  It’s that moment between you and your creator.

I have learned much in life and death.  As I sat by Danny’s side in his last hours I realized that he was dying the way he lived.  He was strong in his faith.  He lived that way.  Was he scared?  Yes, he told me so.  It was the unknown, that’s our human side.  He was very strong and courageous, lived and died that way, always concerned for others.  Right up to that last breath his concern was for us, his family.  How it, his death, would affect us.  But what he didn’t realize is that the memory of his death is fading and it’s that life he led that we remember.

Just as I learned of things, life “things” on my lunch with my age old friend, I learn from my young friends as well.  Teenagers, 10 years olds, 5 year olds, all of these children of God have their own trials and hardships. They deal with life lessons I have no knowledge of. What it’s like to have parents that no longer care enough to stay in the marriage. What does that do to a young heart and mind?  I don’t know, but I am learning.  I find that they are being forced to grow up way too soon.  In some cases they take on that role as the adult.  When we cross paths with folks, we just never know what they are going through so it’s just best to “be nice”.  We have 2 ears; just reserve one to be always on the lookout, to be ready to listen.  It’s amazing what you can learn.  I have learned that little kids who reach out to me must need something!  God is using me for hurt and wounded little birds.  I just pray that I stop and pick them up, bind their broken wings, with his love, and help them to fly again.  Sometimes when I look into the eyes of a child I see way too far.  It’s painful.  Their eyes go way down to their soul.  But if they let you in, you have a duty, obligation to share Jesus with them.   I have learned to love from children.  I have learned to laugh, live, dance, be silly and yes, even be serious all from children.  And just because we grow “up” doesn’t mean we aren’t children anymore.  I think that’s why so many adults lost their way.  They forget they are still children.  They need to learn from their mistakes or their life lessons.  Learn and grow.  Not retreat and turn bitter.  We need to laugh and lift up the broken. 

“Your job is not to judge.  Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something.  Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken and to heal the hurting.”

Speak life.  Speak words of Christ!  Love unconditionally.  How many of you have learned “God lessons”?  As I finish The Purpose Driven Life, I am reminded of things I have learned in life.  God has taught me from failure, that maybe I didn’t try hard enough.  When hard times hit and money is tight, he taught me, it’s ok to do without.  There are worse things.  He always shows me what I do have that I need to be thankful for!  Always!  He has taught me through pain and sorrow and depression there is joy.  Not fear!  But true joy!

1 John 4:18-19 (NIV)

¹⁸ There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

¹⁹ We love because he first loved us.

He has taught me through waiting that it is not always what I want when I want it.  It’s Gods time.  And as I wait, I am learning patience.  Patience in things I know will come.  I have learned to trust in his promises, while I wait.  And while I wait I have learned to be still.  I have learned to listen and hear his voice. 

God has taught me many things through illness.  I have learned that this old fleshy body has limitations.  It has pain.  It has cravings.  Dependencies.  But as we put our trust in him, he helps us overcome those things.  And I know from my own experiences that it isn’t a onetime lesson.  I face it every day. Every day I have to take a drug for it, it reminds me that I am human and that I can thank God for my illness, my weaknesses because without them I would not draw close to him.  I would think I could do this on my own.  So look for the good in your trial that you are experiencing right now.  If it’s addiction, thank God every morning when you get up and make that choice to NOT do whatever you are addicted to.  Thank him for keeping you close under his wing.  That’s where we all reside.  If you look around, none of us are perfect.  We all have our issues. But we can all go home where we are forgiven.  Oh how He loves us!  Oh, how He loves!

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

That devil loves to trip us up and to make us feel that when we lose our way we can’t go back.  But everything the devil intends for bad, God will take it if we put our trust in Him and use it for good.  No matter how bad you think it is, it can glorify God in the end. Our mess ups will help others. God will see to it.  There is nothing wasted.  Each addiction, each pain, each fear, each ruined relationship; God will take that and use it.  For those little children that suffer because of the mistakes their parents make, God will not let it settle there.  He will grow them with love and a deep knowledge and wisdom, one far beyond their years.  Yes, things they should not have to learn at a young age but when they mature and are older and wiser just think of the ones they will be able to help.  And that help comes from their pain and suffering.  Pain and suffering caused by what the devil intended for bad.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV)

⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Spend time with the ones you love.  Talk, laugh, cry, live, love; just do it today.  God gives us the gift of time here on earth but it passes way too quickly.  We blink and it’s gone; our parents are aged, our children are grown.  Then we look back and say, “why didn’t I just slow down?”    As I look back on my life, I see many many moments I wish I had slowed down and just laughed with my mom and dad.  There was never anything THAT important going on in my life.  So many times I wish I had let things go to just play with my kids.  I can’t get those times back now, they are gone but I can share it with you in hopes you learn from me, just like I am learning from others.  There are many instances I remember Danny would say why don’t we just….I usually always had an excuse.  Some pressing matter I thought couldn’t wait.  I will never get that back.  So folks, snatch all those moments you can with the ones you love, shoot, even with the ones you like or even with the ones that make you laugh or cry.  In life we feel the bad because we don’t have a choice. But how often do we feel the good?  And sometimes to feel the good all we have to do is tell a goodnight story to that baby girl who wants to climb on your lap and say read me a story Daddy, just one more time!  There is just no greater feeling that that.  Don’t deprive yourself of the good things in life.  Because before you know it the life you know won’t be there.  They will be grown and then you will say, “why didn’t I just slow down?”

As we finished up our lunch, I asked her if I could have her a birthday party!  After all you only turn 90 once.   She insisted no, no party.  So I tried different tactics.  Since she was all about the shock factor I turned the tables on her and asked her if I could get her a male stripper for her birthday!  As she is hard of hearing, it was difficult keeping our conversation quiet.  The gentleman at the table behind us was trying really hard not to eaves drop but I could tell by his facial expressions that he was enjoying our conversation.  He chose to join in with the banter and said his Mom would be 95 on her birthday.  As we got up to leave I introduced her to this gentleman who had joined our luncheon and he told how his mom still lived by herself and enjoyed life at 95!  We continued to chitchat for a bit and then as we said goodbye he said, “If you change your mind about your birthday party let me know and I will go on a diet and be that stripper you wanted!”  That brought many chuckles from us all and it reminded me to slow down.  Enjoy every second of life God blesses you with!

Psalm 37:34 (KJV)

³⁴ Wait on the Lord, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.